Mixed media self portrait….a bit of inspiration…

This in part has been a difficult one to write about.  Do I give the raw story in its entirety, or snippets  of the evolution of the process?

I’ve drawn the most inspiration in my own life, from the people who share their “Real” life stories in a pure , raw way.  I seem to pull that inspiration into my life and works.  It’s much like the melding of paint on my palette…Each color coming from a different tube or vessel, yet when brought together and mixed create a beautiful portrait.  Better because of the unique hues and textures each individual brings.  On the same note…What happens when too many colors, ideas, are brought in? The colors become muddy, dark, unclear…

At this point I pause…one must be intentional about what they let in and mix with.  No thank you to lack of clarity and darkness and unhealthy people!  I get to intentionally choose what colors that mix

"You are worthy".

“You are worthy”.

_DSC1084 _DSC1085 _DSC1086 well in my self portrait.

This self portrait is me, Heather, at age 9.  I choose age 9 because that has been the most pivotal time in my life.  It marked a door point of beginnings and ends…

It was the year my father passed…

The end of my childhood in aspects, as I was left to care for a mentally ill mother, who wasn’t too happy to have children.

The beginning, birthing, so to speak, in using art as my saving grace…

I spent hours creating works on my bedroom floor…papers and glue spewed about, mimicking a stepping stone pattern of directions…

I quickly grew in wisdom about what tools I needed most in my life and what could fill, at this time, my empty heart…

Peace, solitude, time to create.  Learning when I NEEDED to create.

So often as adults we loose sight of what we need that makes us feel whole, happy, well balanced.  Are you mingling with a muddy paint palette ?

As an adult I draw again on the wisdom gained from my 9 year old self…

Take the time to marinade in truly what you have been called to do.  My most favorite part of this painting…the heart…This Is Truth.  It’s interesting to me when I stop and analyze what I am thinking , where is my thought process headed today…I train myself to meditate on truth. Am I taking in toxic thoughts, feelings, or people? Does my self portrait look muddy? At nine, I needed to hear the words that I stamped on this canvas.  At 43 I celebrate because I get to hear these words and better yet, I believe this ‘Truth”. I also am blessed that I get to leave this legacy of truth to my own children…everyday…”You are worthy”…

And so, for the little girl that wasn’t sure after the passing of her father if these words were true…I intentionally close the door on those lies and step into the threshold, that is truth…you are adored (deeply)…just as you are…

 

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About refoundesign

Hi! I obtained a B.S. in Interior Design with a focus in Art History. After working in computer aided design and years of child rearing the embers of artistic creativity are being rekindled and I've begun working a mix of media including photography, folk art painting, and repurposing vintage finds. I love sharing in the joys and inspiration of other creative bloggers as well. Welcome! Heather
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